Monthly Archives: August 2012

An Open Letter About My Daughters…and Me

I used to think it was a cliche when people would say “as a man, your vision of life changes once you have daughters.”  There are few statements in life more truthful.  God has given me charge of two daughters.  All of my experiences in life minutely prepared me for the fact I have to be THE main example of what a Godly man is to my little girls.  Talk about starting a job and feeling like your skill set doesn’t even meet the minimum requirements.  And yet, God entrusted them to me (along with their mothers, of course).  By Him doing that, the situation spoke to me that He knows I can complete this mission, even if at times I’ve felt like I can’t.  That’s probably one of the first lessons He wanted me to learn, so I in turn could instill in them: even if they don’t think they can do something, they’re Daddy does, and I’ll support them through it all.

Having daughters has also made me examine the sometimes, sketchy ways I interact with my wife.  She may not think so, but I have.  There are times where I can be, for lack of a better term, a jackass.  It’s a struggle not to be one; as I feel like that is my default setting.  I’m working on it though.  As the girls get older, I don’t want them to see me always acting like a heel in my marriage, because that will send a bad message to them.  They don’t need to see it because I don’t want them thinking that that’s how husbands and wives are supposed to interact.  If I don’t want my babygirls being subjected to any nonsense when they get of age, why should they see it as they are growing up?  I want to raise them to be true Proverbs 31 women, and to be treated as such.

The same way I’ll be monitoring the men in their lives (my job as their Father), another lesson I feel will be more that necessary for them to learn is how to navigate dealing with men, prayerfully they’ll be God-fearing young men.  Their mothers can tell them how they think men are, but really, it’ll be for naught.  It’s my job to show them how to respond to certain situations with the gentlemen (no knuckleheads allowed) they choose to share their lives with.  A prime example is for them to know when to be quiet.  Now this may read a little chauvinistic, but it’s actually biblical.  In Proverbs, it’s stated a few times that “it is better for a man to dwell in the corner of a roof, than in a home with a quarrelsome wife.”  Another verse in Proverbs states that “the constant naggings of a wife is like a leaky roof.”  By no means do I want my daughters to not speak up for themselves, but knowing when to do so is key. If they vex their men’s souls, nothing good can come out of it.

As they get older, I also hope my girls feel they can talk to me; not only as their Dad, but as someone who they can trust and freely communicate with. Having those lines open is important because everything else I hope to instill in them is predicated on the free flow of information between them and I. The wisdom I hope to impart to them will be so much easier to do if we can openly talk. My daughters will know that everything I tell them will come from a place of love, and a desire to see them attain all that God has in store for them. If I didn’t wan’t these things for my girls, what kind of father would I be?

My daughters are two of the greatest joys I have in my life. With the time God has entrusted me to guide them, teach them about Him, and be the example of how a man is supposed to be, I still don’t feel worthy. But, I have them anyway, so I’ll do my best and rely on His strength, to be who they need me to be, and who God called me to be.

How heavy is the mission of a father with daughters?

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Posted by on 08/08/2012 in Uncategorized

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