Yesterday, like any other Saturday for the last two years, I went to work. Within the last four months, I’ve taken off two Saturdays, so for all intents and purposes, I’ve been working six days a week. This isn’t a complaint by any means, because I feel blessed to have not one, but two jobs. What it is is a realization that I took a wrong road somewhere and, I have to rectify it, asapually.
Working like I’ve basically done for the last 2 years has caused me to miss spending more time with my wife, oldest daughter, and now, my babygirl. I’m missing time hanging with my boys (nh) because I’m either at work, or too tired to do anything when I get off work. It really does suck. However, I can’t really look at anybody but myself for what I’m encountering.
I started college in 1998…and I’m STILL in school. So for those at home counting, that’s 14 years I’ve been working toward a 4 year degree. It’s sorta ridiculous. The one thing I can hang my hat on is that I haven’t given up. Every class I take gets me one day closer to finally walking across the stage. The driving forces for me now are different, or better yet, more substantive than before. When I was younger, I wanted to get my degree so I could live comfortably; to have all the trappings of a “professional life”. Life has taught me that while that would be nice, it’s not the most important thing. Now, my drive to finish is to provide a more comfortable life for my family, and show my daughters what perseverance looks like.
My little girls are young enough to not completely grasp what perseverance is. When they see the times Daddy is doing homework just like them, they’ll know. While I may still miss some of their functions, it will be because I’m working to improve their future. The older they get, the more I’ll understand what true sacrifice is, and hopefully them as well. I don’t actually like it, but it’s got to get done. At the same time, I realize that simply having a degree doesn’t guarantee a better life; but it does up the chances. In reality, the experiences gained by working toward my degree will probably be more valuable than the paper itself. The work I put in will simply be represented by that gold embossed piece of paper.
I look forward to the day when I won’t have to work every Saturday. I can be present during “family time”, and not working to make it happen. I’ll be able to take the lead as head of my family, and feel secure in it. That’s not to say it’s unstable, as my wife allows me to lead. But any man who is honest with himself will admit, if he feels secure in himself, it helps when leading his home.
I don’t plan on being 35 and not having my degree. I’ll cut sleep, and family functions to get it done. But when I do, it’ll be the end of one journey, and the start of another.
So, what are you tired of? What is the endgame, or what is the point of the main mission that you’ve undertaken?