A couple of days ago on Twitter, @Ladidahdi tweeted a couple of thoughts on asking others for help.
Today in La is ridiculous: I have 2 significant issues with asking for help, both of which I’m self aware enough to realize hav everything+
to do with my control issues and NOTHING to do with actually being helped. 1. I’m uninterested in doing things on anyone else’s schedule.
2. Asking people to do something for you is giving them permission to do it their way. I am uninterested in your way.
This struck a chord with me because after some thought, I think I have felt like this as well.
For starters, being on someone else’s schedule sucks. You have to wait on them to get around to doing what you need done. Secondly, if they do it their way, and not how you want it, then the something could be messed up. And being a control freak like me, this situation just isn’t acceptable. But there is another reason Ladidahdi’s point resonated with me.
I’ve always had a problem with asking anyone for anything, including help. I used to feel like asking anybody for anything was a sign of weakness. To me, it was like admitting that I couldn’t handle situations on my own. I felt like asking for help was giving up control, and power. Feeling like that has caused me to miss out on opportunities, and take chances I normally wouldn’t. All because I didn’t seek guidance, or assistance.
It was pointed out to me that not asking for, or accepting help, was a sign of pride too. I couldn’t understand the connection. Not only did I not want to give up control of situations, but I didn’t want to “put anybody out” either. I had the whole asking for help thing all mixed up.
Accepting or asking for help is not a sign of weakness at all. In fact, it takes a strong person to even acknowledge that help is needed. On her blog, fromraewithlove.com, Rae has stated on many occasions that it takes strength to say when help is needed. If the strong know they can’t do it alone, then why do people still try to be self-sufficient?
Honestly, there’s no such thing as self-sufficiency. Jesus was the ONLY man who ever was, and that’s because he was God-incarnate. It’s a mindset that has permeated humanity since the dawn of time. Think about all the great leaders throughout history. Not one of the greats did anything on their own; they all had help. King David had the Mighty Men. Hannibal had generals almost as smart as he was. Even the human body needs all it’s parts so it can function properly.
In the book of Proverbs, there are numerous verses about a king having many advisors. The king who seeks counsel from wise men will become wise. If even kings, who are the ultimate authority in a kingdom seek help, we should too.