There’s a saying that goes “the truth shall set you free”. It should read “the absolute truth shall set you free”.
Throughout most of history, truth has been considered relative. Mankind has treated truth as something that can be conveniently altered based on personal interpretation. The winners of war get to write the history, even if it’s a lie. We look at truth as though it has no absolutes, when in reality truth IS absolute.
It forces us to make decisions based on sound facts. It’s baseline is 0. Absolute truth doesn’t care about our feelings or opinions. Absolute truth gets to the heart of issues and situations. It gives us ultimatums that we have to deal with. This is with respect to all parts of life, because all parts of life have an absolute truth.
All of this came about from a text that I sent my wife recently. As I was awaiting her response to it, I started thinking about when women say things like “be honest with me”. Or they’ll say “just tell me the truth”. How many men have heard this before? Some men have said it too, I know. For most of us though, we’re usually on the receiving end of it.
Tell me the truth is one of the biggest issues a man gets hit with in a relationship. When we hear this, we have to process a lot of information quickly.
How far along in this relationship are we? Did I do something she found out about? Does she want my truth or her truth? How truthful should I be? Is this a test? All are questions men will ask themselves. Sometimes, the answer to all is yes.
Men and women get into relationships putting up a front. Not all the time, but often enough where it’s a problem. We show the relative truth of who we are at a particular moment. It’s not the complete story. I’m not advocating spill your guts to everyone who shows interest. What I am advocating is just being one’s self.
Being one’s self is the absolute truth. We’re an amalgamation of all our experiences, good and bad. What we’ve encountered has made us the person we are when folks meet us. Acting like we haven’t had to deal with things makes us liars to others and ourselves. If we attempt to change the narrative of self, we rewrite history, which, again, is lying.
The further into a relationship we get, the more important the absolute truth becomes. At times it can be hurtful, but it has to be. This is where the ultimatums come in.
A situation arises where a man and a woman reach a point that will decide whether their relationship will continue or not. It could be infidelity, finances, birth of a child, et cetera. They’ve reached a point where absolute truth is going to affect their lives. The ultimatum is either they stay together or not. Absolute truth dictates either of two outcomes. The relationship continues or not. It’s cut and dry, black and white.
On the other hand, relational truth has these two outcomes, and also more options. Folks can hem and haw, give the “I’m not sure what to do”, blah, blah, blah. Nobody makes a decision. Nobody wants to stand on what they believe and feel, consequences be damned. It takes courage to accept and acknowledge that what one wants, the other may not. But the truth has to be the truth, not subjected to the whims of us.
When we deal with THE truth and not our truth, somethings happens. Sometimes it is good. Sometimes it is bad. Nothing stays the same though.
Misunderstandings tend to dissipate. Assumptions happen less. People know where they stand, in a relationship. Why? Because real truth leads to all this.
It makes us get to the bare bones of us, as well as our issues. We can’t be real if we’re not dealing with real truth. We can’t assume that what’s true for us isn’t true for another. Situations might be different, but the guiding principle is the same. When we acknowledge this, we take the first steps to knowing and understanding what real truth is.