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Monthly Archives: September 2013

Late Night Thoughts…

It’s not often that I don’t have set plans for the phases of my life.  Right now though?  I’m lost.  I have no idea which way is up, left, or where I’m going.

My fam is telling me to “keep on trusting God, things will eventually turn around”, etc.  But ya know something?  My question is when?  “Keep the faith”, I hear.  “Faith without works is dead”, I hear.  It seems like somewhere along the way, while trying to keep the faith, and believing in God’s promises, He forgot to show up and do His part.

I don’t say this to challenge God, but to freely vent and simply ask, “when”?  When *will* things turn around?  I feel like I’m one step from being ass out on ev-ery-thang…and there’s a feeling in the pit of my stomach that I’ll take that step and get to that point before I see a change.

Is this my “Job experience”?  Outside of losing my family, just about everything is gone. 

What am I, as a man suppose to do when I can’t do what I’m looked at to do?  That’s what I’m asking myself, and rhetorically, what I’m left to ask God.  I know the answer is to again, keep praying and believing, but frankly, I’m tired.  I’m spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and financially drained.  Never having enough gets old.  Feeling unfulfilled gets old.  And yet, it continues; seeming like it’ll never end.

I’m not sure how much more I can take.  I need a break and a breakthrough.  When I’ll get it, I don’t know, but I hope it comes soon.

 
1 Comment

Posted by on 09/17/2013 in Random

 
 
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